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manslator:

“Asexual women are fucking useless because what good is a 40 year old woman without a child and a man? I’m not saying women owe men sex or anything, but sex should just be something that comes within a relationship, and so should children if you are to get married.”

Manslation: The Lord came to me one day and said, “Listen up, Tim, I’m putting you in charge of everyone else’s business.”

I said to the Lord, “Are you sure, Lord? I am but a humble dude bro. I have nothing to offer but… wait, I literally have nothing to offer.”

“Yes, I am sure,” said the Lord. “Look inside your heart and decide for everyone who they are and how they feel. Start with women and your many opinions about how their human worth depends on their sexuality and how they are nothing more than vending machines for sex and babies.”

I asked him, “May I practice with you just once?”

He nodded gravely. I cleared my throat and said, “I’M NOT SAYING WOMEN OWE MEN SEX, IT’S JUST THAT THEY DO ACTUALLY OWE MEN SEX ALL OF THE TIME. … How was that, Lord?”

“You will make a fine Douche Angel, Tim. Go forth with my blessing.”

Reposted fromglassarrow917 glassarrow917

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